It has been a difficult weekend here in Blondie land. Normally this is the place I go when I want to make you laugh a little, or as I have been recently told cry a little, your words of praise and encouragement have led me here tonight. It would be a good time in my life to call a friend, or a family member to air my dirty laundry with, but I have a difficult time carrying on personal conversations when it is inappropriate to be funny or sarcastic, this is one of those times.
This weekend I tried to commit my son to the psych ward. He is a drug addict, and an alcoholic, he is 19 years old.
Saturday evening he had gotten into a fight with his father, over some pain medication he that he had stolen, he called me to try smooth things over with his dad and to stop him from pressing charges and having him arrested. This is not a first time occurrence, he calls me all the time to run mediation between the two of them. This time was different, he called me from his cell phone while on a break from work, and told me he was sitting in someones van , he had no idea whose, no idea where he was and was drinking Four Loco, and had been all day. He had also told me he had taken several hydrocodones and was stealing the van and was going to kill himself. He was crying and hysterical. I convinced him to get his ass out of the van, and tried to get him to pour out the booze, I heard him chug it and shut the van door. He told me he was going back to work. I told him that was a good idea, just go back and stay there. I called his dad, who was much closer than I was and told him to go get the boy, pick him up and take him straight to the hospital.
Reilly could not comprehend why he was at the hospital, and tried to use his usual manipulation techniques to persuade us to just take him home, it wouldn’t happen again…blah blah blah. After a blood and urine test, and telling the doctor that he had in fact tried to kill himself earlier in the week, and had recently started smoking crack. He was released due to the lack of a bed. There were also no beds available anywhere in Cr. Waterloo, or Dubuque.
He is now thrilled because he thinks he beat the system, and is probably getting high again as I write this.
So my blog friends, any ideas. He will not agree to rehab. He can leave a hospital situation in 24 hours. I do not know how to help him. If anyone out there has dealt with this or can help point me in a direction to some other resource I be so grateful. I do not want to lose my son, and he is in pain.
Laura,
I am so sorry to hear about Reilly. I am also sorry you are going throught this. I know how frustrating it is about the lack of beds. I hear about this place in Des Moines called Teen Challenge. Some men from there have came to our church and spoke. It is a Christian Based recovery faciility that sounds really good. The web site is above. I am not sure of the process you have to go through or anything like that but it was the first thing that came to mind when I was reading your blog.
All I can say as you probably already know you have a long road ahead of you. Be strong, don’t allow him to use you and try to find him some help because you love him and you don’t want him to die.
Also http://www.teenchallengeusa.com is the national site. Hope this helps.
Tyneal
I’m sure you know as well as I do, that even if you could get him into rehab, he would probably just play along until he could get released. I can’t believe he got cut loose even though he admitted some suicidal tendencies. I know someone that walked into Mercy and told them he couldn’t handle life on his own. I think he was there for 9 days and then the hospital helped get him into some treatment and a place to stay at a sort of half-way house.
But, if you can’t convince him to get some help for himself, then I can only think of one other option. It won’t be easy and could have a life-long lasting effect, but I would say either let him keep going until he gets into trouble with the law, or you or his dad can help get the law involved due to his theft of prescription medicine. Spending a night in jail can be a big eye-opener and sometimes judges will court-order treatment or will reduce a sentence on the agreement the person gets help.
I don’t know what’s going to be the right answer, but maybe what I posted will give you some ideas that will be better suited for Reilly.
You are right about the rehab Mandy, he knows how to play that game very well.
He is not ready for treatment even if I am ready for him to go. He has been in jail twice already, and really fears going back, but evidently not enough to stop.
Thanks so much for your insight, you probably see people in trouble everyday, it is hard to watch someone you care for throw their life away.
Laura,
You are not alone. If Tom and I can be of any help please let us know. I put myself in your shoes so many times. We share so many thoughts and ideas.
I love you kid. Please Please don’t be afraid to contact me if you need me. Your family will always be here for you.
me