Blondie Says has been Blondie Silent for quite a while now. Life smacked me upside the head pretty hard, and it is taken me some time to rest, reflect, reorganize or in layman’s terms “get my shit together”. My voice is slowly starting to return and my passion for TMI has begun to burn.
Let’s do this.
If you know me, you are aware that I am suicide survivor, meaning that someone who I love has completed suicide. If you don’t know me, the story is the same, my stepson completed suicide on a beautiful fall day in November 2014 the details of that experience are not important.
The aftermath is.
I am doing my best to deal with it. The road I travel is paved with curves and lined with boulders. I wear shoes made of sadness and a backpack full of guilt and unanswered questions. Life has been divided into before and after.
Life “before” was filled with first world problems. Is my butt to big? Will people like what I am wearing? Is my apartment clean enough? What should I fix for dinner? Will people think that I am funny, pretty, skinny? I was so concerned with the mundane and banality of ordinary life that I failed to notice the glaring disrespect, unfunny, inappropriate comments that I now hear almost daily.
Yes I’m talking to each and everyone of you reading this blog.
Stop saying that you will kill yourself , put a gun to your head, take yourself out, or any other variation of these statements whenever you are having an uncomfortable moment.
Stop putting emojis with a smiley face, and a gun beside it in your Facebook status, because you are having a shitty day, your coffee is cold, your dog got out, or McDonald’s fucked up your order.
Stop sending messages, posting to Instagram, or snap chatting a photo of yourself with your index finger pointed to your head.
Because I now live life in the “after ” I find these expressions unfunny, inappropriate, and offensive.
I get it, you are having a bad day, you are pissed off, you are attempting to be funny. Am I concerned that you are going to take your own life, probably not. At the very least I am irritated that you take such a lackadaisical attitude to a real and horrible problem. I am grossly offended that you forget who I am, what I’ve been through and most importantly you’ve forgotten my loved one.
I pray that no one that you know, like, or love takes their own life. I pray that you never have to call 911 because you have found a family member that has completed suicide, and I pray that you never have to make a phone call to a mother, father, grandparent or sibling of a loved one who has lost a battle with depression. I pray that you learn to recognize the signs of someone in trouble, and I pray most of all that you be kind, gentle and patient.
Suicide is on the rise. Depression, anxiety, and PTSD are all real conditions that aren’t outwardly visible ( I now suffer from all three). Making light or pretending that you want to kill yourself diminishes our response to those truly in need. If we consistently joke about suicide whenever we are mad, upset, or just trying to be funny, it desensitizes us to those that truly have those thoughts.
It becomes impossible to distinguish a joke from reality .It should be our goal as a society to take suicidal threats seriously and be able to provide real and proactive help.
If you or someone you know is experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts there is help available. Please call 1-800-273-8255.